i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
