a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
