the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize