Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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