Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
