Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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