they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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