Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
