im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
even my farts smell like vagina
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
