You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Mom said you looked used
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
