So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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