Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
