the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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