Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I can't turn off my feet"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
