You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Bring me that man meat
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
