Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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