awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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