my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
