I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
