Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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