I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
