sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
