We won't sleep together?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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