...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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