i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
