idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
