Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
