i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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