Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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