She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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