when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
