If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
