Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Four minutes until I can fart!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
