you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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