I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize