i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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