i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Boobs speak an international language.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
