I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
