If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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