I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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