Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize