There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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