So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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