I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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