Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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