Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
