i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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