You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
