I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
