Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
