im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
