I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
