I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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