if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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