I got chris browned last night
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I deserve this hangover.
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