I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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