I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
