She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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