No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
