you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
