did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
