Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
