please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
