I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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