He had one of those small greek statue penises
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
